The writers of True Blood. (via huffandstuff)
She’s a waitress, a waitress who’s saved my life more than once and whose fear vibe very graciously brought me here tonight, allowing me to settle an ancient debt. Thank you for that, by the way.
Just finished the new True Blood episode.
“Bill represents a goodness and a desire to be compassionate that I think people find attractive and desirable," Moyer said, talking about the undead Civil War veteran he plays.
Yeah, sure….A few examples of “his goodness” and “the desire to be compassionate”
Yep. Let’s recap, shall we?
Bill “Much Desired Undead” Compton’s the Compassionate Life:
1. As a Civil War soldier, advocated for killing a boy, because the boy was making too much noise (while wounded). The compassion is strong with this one.
2. Once turned, near damn killed his wife, because he just wouldn’t listen that seeing her is a bad idea. It’s not about her, you see. His feelings will always and forever take precedent over anyone else’s safety and peace of mind. Compassion!
3. Spent decades with Lorena gleefully screwing while writhing in still-alive victims’ blood, making the loved ones watch as they drain the victims, making the victims beg to be killed. All for
4. Broke free of Lorena in a spasmodic fit of tenuous independence, only to join a nest of absolutely vicious vampires who entertained themselves by hanging their victims upside-down and bleeding them out. Hooked up with Diane, the woman who could give Lorena the run for her Most Gleefully Sadistic crown. Compassion, people! Are you feeling that desire yet?
5. Got away from that nest, who knows why (they sound like delightful company!), to join a Punk band, I think? Or just stole their clothes. Briefly found something akin to conscience, in so far that he would inform the victims of his feedings of their rights or something. Then glamour them to forget his unfortunate haircut. Because COMPASSION!
6. Was recruited by the shady Authority to DO GOOD! Proceeded to “do good” by working as a pimp for a morality-free zone of a Queen, supplying her with a stream of human slaves to feed on and fuck. While informing on her to that shady, omnipotent but curiously inept organization. To no avail, it would appear, since none of the Authority save for Nan Flanagan knew him or gave a shit about him. I’m guessing his “compassion” didn’t make an impression at all.
7. Was sent by the Queen to aquire the next slave with some special additives to her blood. Found he couldn’t glamour her into blindly following, arranged for her to be beaten to death, so he can pump her full of his blood. The blood that makes the recipient a pliable puppet to the dubious “charms” of the giver. Use the effects to manipulate the woman into falling for the version of him he chose to present to her. Fed her a steady stream of lies and some pretty gruesome, rapey sex ed. Fed ON her constantly, even when she specifically asked her not to. Destroyed her life completely, isolated her from pretty much everyone. Foisted a huge burden for his tenuous “humanity” onto her shoulders. In short, basically broke out every trick from the “Abusive Relationships 101” play book. But hey! He did steal a ring for her so they could get married in some half-official ceremony in that one state he never intended to live with her, so … yay! Compassion!
8. Got himself a progeny, however unwillingly. Pawned her off to some bar-keepers (‘cause that’s always a suitable option for infant care). Forgot to teach her anything that would make her survive. Wept into her shoulder, though, so they are cool now. Tried to dump her again, though it didn’t take. Finally taught her the most important thing: kill faster. Smacked her around a bit, but hey, daddy beats me because he loves me. And anyway, she’s used to it. Her human daddy beat her, too. So it’s like home! And he did let her keep a “toy” (a boyfriend), so he is a cool dad! (He let her smock pot, too! Yay, Bill! All he needs now are some suspenders and a Fedora!).
8. Decided to keep Sookie for himself, so killed the Queen in a hilarious fit of vampire athletics. Which was a beginning of Bill Compton “Kill Your Darlings That Have Any Authority Over You” tour. Oh, and he also helped off Lorena while at it. Out of compassion, of course. And to save Sookie. You know, the woman who wouldn’t have needed saving if it weren’t for him. But hey, he is Bill Compton and his FEELS trump everything!
9. Somewhere in the middle of all of that, he had a brief stint as Russell’s new pimp monkey, where he found him “dinner” while using that compassion of his. You know, the one that leads him pick the most defenseless, the loneliest victims with lowest self-esteem. The ones “no one will miss.” ‘Cause COMPASSION, dudes! We all know how the suicidal and the disenfranchised don’t deserve to live anyway!
10. Got dumped by Sookie, so, naturally, killing the Queen and becoming one himself was the logical next step. The Authority, or rather Nan Flanagan, suddenly remembered that he existed. So they gave him the throne. And a decorating budget so he can pimp out his run-down plantation house into a Playboy Mansion. ‘Cause that’s how he rolls.
11. During his short tenure as King of Compassion, Bill tried to murder his rival (stopped only due to that fabled compassion! Or do I mean constipation? I get those two confused in Bill’s case), manipulated Nan, fucked the help, fucked his great-great-great-great-granddaughter, freaked the shit out of his former relatives, installed zebra rugs, pouted a lot, started a war with the witches in which he nearly died himself, and killed yet another woman with authority over him. All in all, not a bad year’s work for an absolutely inept ruler.
12. Got brought into the Authority, where he had quiet an adventure!. Got high, fucked and killed yet another powerful woman (it’s a hobby, everyone needs one), got very very sorry for himself yet again, fondly reminisced about how he let his own daughter die of cancer rather than give her a life he could, got religion, started another war, paved the beginning for the untold consequences of Hep-V, hallucinated a deity, killed more people, betrayed his ally, tried to take Sookie’s agency once again, beat up his progeny again (for her own good, of course), ordered her to kill the guy she loves, drank ALL the Cool-Aid (he doesn’t like to share), told the last-week’s “love of his life” that she was an abomination and disgusting to him, and became a Tampon Monster! Ooof. I feel exhausted just recounting this! His “compassion” was working overtime that year!
13. As the Tampon Monster — excuse me, God! — he proceeded to hallucinate bloody naked women, get even more of an inflated sense of self (which I didn’t think was possible!), kill a donor, and spent his Deity-Duty time mostly trying to find a way to become flame-retardant. A worthy pursuit, no doubt. All the while the war he started raged around him, people were dying, went to concentration camp, and all the while Eric did all the work that Bill meant to do when he got that flame-retardation issue under control. He really, really tried, you guys! He kidnapped a scientist! He got three fairies killed! He pimped out Sookie to a deranged fairy-vamp hybrid for a bit of his blood! He finally got his darling wish and walked into an already liberated camp to “rescue” all of 5 vampires form AN ALREADY OPEN ROOM! Oh, and he ripped some heads, so it wasn’t a total wash. I mean, I don’t know what else you can possibly ask of a Tampon Monster Semi-Deity on a Tight Schedule?! Sheesh!
14. Lost his powers (poor Tampon Monster no more!), wrote a book on how he was a god, how he killed the governor of the state and got away with it (so what if this is tantamount to a confession to murder. Who cares, right?), collaborated with another murderer on his usual pet venture: Pimping humans to vampires! If he found the time to redecorate his Pimp Mansion, he’d have a very productive six moths, indeed!
15. Tried to convince Sookie yet again on the subject of how reliable, loving, compassionate, trustworthy, conscientious, and an all-around good dood he is! So she should immediately dump her admittedly dud of a boyfriend and get right back to the guy who destroyed her life, took her innocence, betrayed her numerous times, called her an abomination, and then tried to sell her. TRUE LOVE, people! TRUE LOVE!
Bill Compton is made out of compassion. And good intentions. He is the god all that is desirable and honorable! There is a book that says it, so it must be true:
And here’s what I would like to see be this “god’s” reward:
But I am not naive. I know nothing even close to this satisfying will happen.
More’s the pity.
i’ve never gone from loving a show to utterly hating a show so much, as i have with true blood. it’s just SO awful now and it seriously makes me angry and sad.
"Your blood tastes like freedom, Sookie. Like sunshine in a pretty blond bottle." -Eric Northman, True Blood
Another missed opportunity. This should have been the true death.
As far as I’m concerned, this is how the show ended. This, right here. The rest was a hallucination that Brian Buckner had after eating too many sausages or something.
Eric: You can overlook the things I’ve done …. I don’t want to remember.
Beautiful, both gif and subject!